Sure, it was just one of the many lessons teaching me the same thing. When it comes to life lessons, I am stubborn, I insist, I try again and again and again. But that is just me, don’t mind me.
I have had the precious revelation that we always want to experience our deepest pain passionately, with blood and tears and cuts and bruises. We will never go for the soft version and we never run away from it.
Unconsciously we are looking for a solution to the ‘problem’. So we create contexts in which we can repeat the same experience with a different setting and different actors, every time hoping we would get out of it chin up and with smooth, unruffled feathers.
But it doesn’t happen. Not as long as we are still under the illusion that there is a problem to solve, a battle to fight, a war to win, honor to defend, appearances to keep up etc.
When that changes and we feel we are enough, no image to work on, just moving on, heart and eyes open, that is when things can actually change. I hope, at least…
I am just going to say it could’ve been the perfect couchsurfing hang out. Only it wasn’t. I felt it was not what I wanted, but I thought there is nothing bad about the experience itself. Well, I was right. There was nothing good about it, either. Except for the lesson. It is a precious one.
PS Oh, and just like with my student, I do not play the ‘victim’ role in this story, either, but rather that of the ‘aggressor’.